Don't get
caught in the chaos of the holiday shopping season. Buy your
gifts online right here! New Stuff will be added every week!
Remorseless
Killing Machine: Mankind's Greatest Fear Realized. Once the stuff of science fiction, now a reality,
the Remorseless Killing Machine is a ruthless automaton dedicated
to eradicating the human race. With its formidable intellect and
inhuman strength, the Remorseless Killing Machine relentlessly
pursues its single directive: to eliminate chaos and disorder by
exterminating the irrational scourge which is mankind. Great at
parties. Catalog #RLK239847. $348,520,457.73 USD ($10,328,471 S/H).
Motivational
Cassettes. Get on
the path to self-improvement with our award-winning library of
motivational tapes. Our tapes provide everything you need to know
about life, love, and happiness. Here are the titles that you can
choose from: "Stop Eating Those HoHos and Get Off of Your
Fat, Lazy Ass: A Simple Plan for Losing Weight," "That
Bitch Don't Deserve You: How to Build a Successful Relationship
in the 90s," "Cook Your Own Crystal Meth," "Know
Your Venereal Diseases," and "Kung-Fu Your Way to the
Top." Each tape $19.99 USD ($1233.99 S/H).
Feral, Wild Animals. We don't know where these things came
from, or what they even are, but we sure are eager to get them
the hell out of here. These guys are nasty little bastards; they'd
rather bite your leg off than look at you. As far as we can tell,
they only eat meat and they get really hyper at night, especially
when the moon is full. A couple of days ago, one of them got
loose and schoolchildren started disappearing. The worst thing is
they multiply like rabbits. For the love of god, order one so
that we might separate the mating pairs. Catalog #FWA209384. $0.99
USD (FREE S/H).