Just the
Facts: |
Maceo is a neutered male mixed-breed dog. He is about two
years old
(estimated). He weighs
approximately 34 lbs. and stands
about 24 inches tall in
high heels, maybe. |
What's in a
Name?: |
Maceo's Significant Human
Others (SHOs) report that the name
comes
from
Maceo
Parker --
"of course!". Maceo's SHOs were kind enough to offer
further
clarification on this point "for those who don't know" (a group
that
originally included St.Ella's handlers, we humbly confess): Maceo
Parker
was James Brown's saxophone player and
band
leader
in the
late 1960's. (We -- i.e. St.Ella's handlers -- have to admit
we
still didn't see the connection -- until we paused, took a
deep breath, and applied the
critical analytical and interpretive
habits we had absorbed over
too many
years in
graduate
school. Suddenly, all became perfectly clear and we were at
peace again
with the reality of attempting to keep up with
monthly student
loan repayments: we
inferred that
the name "Maceo"
is a brilliant popular cultural allusion to the
little-known
fact
that the
working title of the James Brown single which first
prominently
featured MP's saxophone playing was none other than:
"Papa's Got a
Brand New Dog"....Who says a liberal arts education
is a waste of
time?). |
AKC
Papers?: |
The short answer: Bite me!; the longer answer:
Maceo's
DNA is a
veritable canine genetic jumbalaya (see the
Glossary entry for "Canis Familiaris
Sui
Generis")
whose
ingredients include (but are NOT limited to) the following:
a half-cup of
Beagle, a quarter cup of Collie,
something called
"special sauce"(?), a pinch of Whippet, a twist of
Shephard, and --
St.Ella's handlers suspect -- a splash of twisted Jack
Russell --
all of which adds up to one kick-ass
little
doggie. |
Maceo's
"A-list": |
Maceo's favorite dogs include the following: Rose, Zeke,
Cally,
Piedmont,
Duncan, Amani (Youngman), the Vizlas (Silus & Hattie),
and Putney (the
yellow lab at the Blue Moon Diner); favorite
bi-peds:
Marcus and Antonio, the "Two Gentlemen of
Rivanna". |
Favorite Book: |
A Confederacy of Dunces
by John Kennedy
Toole |
Turn-ons: |
Maceo enjoys the simple pleasures in life: tasty bones
to
chew on, cuddling in bed with mom, and sassy girl dogs with
good smelling butts. His main pleasure at this point in his
life,
however, is full-contact dog wrestling -- any time, any place, with
ANY opponent.
Like a true Virginian, Maceo is particularly fond of
taking on dogs much
larger than himself and
he doesn't hesitate for
a moment before going into (play) battle with even
a true
behemoth
like Greta the Rottweiler. Maceo doesn't bother to
conceal his
disdain for other dogs when they tire of playing or when
they fail
to join in the fray with sufficient vigor. He
expresses his
contempt for such dogs by taunting them with his patented
high-pitched
squeal/bark which makes us glad we're not his
neighbors. |
Turn-offs: |
As a true Son of the South, Maceo is quite put off by
disparaging
remarks made about his "back country" roots and by the
condescending
attitude taken by many urban dogs, such as his cousins
the Big City
Jack Russell Terriers (Butch and Sundance) who ruined
an otherwise
perfect
Thanksgiving dinner by referring to Maceo as
"the Country Bumpkin".
Most of all, however, Maceo is very
quick to take offense at any
remark, hint, comparison,
or suggestion
that might possibly
be interpreted as meaning he is a "small"
dog. Maceo is VERY
sensitive on this point, so if you happen to come
in contact with him at
an area park, please refrain from making
insensitive "small dog" jokes in
his presence. Above all else, do
NOT, under any circumstances, tell Maceo
he resembles "that Taco
Bell dog". |