Just the
Facts: |
Dakota is a neutered male purebred
Doberman
Pinscher born "somewhere in the Valley" in 1993.
He weighs approximately
65-70 lbs. We would like to point out
that the elongated protruberance
depicted in the photograph below
is Dakota's actual tongue
and not, as many have
supposed, a prosthetic device. |
Turn-ons: |
(1) Playing "full body contact" fetch
(tennis balls being the preferred medium); (2) Greta
the
Rottweiler. |
Turn-offs: |
Other dogs interfering in his "personal
space"
when he's absorbed in a good game of fetch. Like his
Significant
Human Other (SHO), Dakota is suspicious of new people
(or dogs in his
case) who are too friendly too fast; just
like Andy
unlike his SHO, he's
inclined to nip them in
the ear. |
Highest Elevation
Achieved: |
(1) Literally: 14,000+ ft. on Mount of
the Holy
Cross, near Vail, Colorado; (2) Figuratively: Being
named "Dog of
the Month" for March 1999 on this Website,
of course. |
Evidence of Possible
Alien
Abduction: |
Photographic x-rays have shown "a small
square
solid object" of unknown origin embedded deep in Dakota's
neck (we're not
kidding). Every time he goes through the checkout
line at
Kroger, the cashier has to call for a price check. |
Actual Foreign
Objects Extracted
by
Vets
from Dakota's Body: |
(1) a bottlecap (now on display at the
local
Emergency VETS); (2) two-inch long wooden splinter.
Dakota has nine inches
of scars on his chest and stomach as a
reminder of the two surgeries
required to remove
these items. |