Snipes
What's a snipe? Well, you really have to go snipe hunting to understand. Anyway, these snipes are all things said by players in various roleplaying games that made the rest of the players crack up. Enjoy!
Ahb Uhlett Snipes
For those interested in such stuff, pictures of the characters who made these quotes are in ICE's RoleMaster Channelling Companion.
- But don't tell the bucket that it's holy water.
- You have a large gold evil skull up your butt.
- You're saying you're not crazy because you do
hear voices in your head? -Daval
No, I'm saying I'm not crazy because the voices in my head are real! -Sh'dar - It would just be very amusing if we brought about the collapse of their entire civilization. -Jerref
- That's not a nice curse.
- Wait, what do I care? I don't trust you. -Daval
- We haven't commited genocide yet. We missed one.
- The plan was basically to open the door and let a bunch of Undead attack them.
- It's no fair jumping when you're concious. -Jerref
- I jump off the building. (pause) How high up is it? -Sh'dar
- It doesn't bother me, it's just an abomination. -Bashkar
- I cast Location. How far away is it? -Bashkar
40 feet ... 35 feet ... 30 feet ... -GM - I am not getting a slug as a familiar.
- I don't have a headache.
Have you tried talking to Jerref's rocks? - Breathe through your armpits, you won't notice the smell.
- While he's got the guards distracted, something crawls out of my pants leg. -Daval
- Don't think of it as looting dead people, think of it as archaeology.
Bladelands Snipes
Here are some snipes from the playtest of the new fantasy world for Rolemaster, run by John Curtis.
- "But what if it's undead fecal matter?" -Mutt
- "I'm standing gurad. I'm not alert." -Berren
- "He could have given birth to a herd of hippos by this point." -Brutus
- (Fireball goes off)
"There's a spell caster in the room!" -Berren
"Duh!" -Moz - "Sometimes I prefer to go into the shower, turn on scalding hot water, bang my head against the faucet, and do calculus. Other times I prefer to make Rolemaster characters." -Don
Cthulhu Snipes
These are from Don Dennis' Orient Express campaign.
- This is Charlottesville. You can't meet single women even in roleplaying games.
- You kill the toy soldier, I'll cover you.
- That's not a tip, that's a bribe!
- My money doesn't speak Italian.
- I wanted to die this week!
- On the count of 3, we all jump off the moving train.
- Can I make a sanity check?
These are from a playtest of an RPGA event
- I make a first aid roll on the fish. -Suzy
- Let us revise the parameters by which you shoot people. -Kevin
- Here's a man with a gun who says "I'm right." -Kevin
- Either he's trying to be macho, or he's wacky. -Don
- Some of them were killed by bullets, some were killed by flying fish.
Mad God Snipes
These are from my Mad God GURPS campaign.
- This stool could wander off if I don't sit on it. -Tarl
- Surrender or Die! (character passes out) -Gerrund
- We're looking for guys in skirts... -Tarl
- Maybe we should ask the bartender where to find sailors in skirts.
-Quag
You ask this time. -Tarl - Maybe we should try going out and killing them all. -Gerrund
We could try talking to them. -Quag
Oh yeah, that's what I meant. - I can't lie for all of us. -Gerrund
- I'm just a snake man, I don't have any external genetalia, but what do I know? -Al Hac
- Oh mighty things that can hurt us, please don't. -Al Hac
- I have a suggestion...don't listen to me.
- I critically grapple his ass.
- I refuse to get in any mouth that hasn't had a spider jump out of it.
- Fabulous. Our life is in the hands of an S&M freak. -Al Hac
Last Updated 9/19/1999
Created 11/6/97