Tuck's Quotes Page

One of the very few advantages of growing old is that one can reach an age at which he can do as he damn well pleases within the limits of his purse.

Luck is a term used by the mediocre to describe the accomplishments of a genius.

Never skip a chance to eat, sleep or pee; another chance may be a long time coming.

There isn't anyway to be safe, just being alive is deadly dangerous...fatal in the end.

Political tags such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth, are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. The former are idealists acting from highest motives for the greatest good of the greatest number. The latter surly curmudgeons, suspicious and lacking in altruism. But they are more comfortable neighbors than the other sort.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.

Maybe Jesus was right when he said the meek shall inherit the earth - but they inherit very small plots, about two meters by one meter.

A monarch's neck should always have a noose around it - it keeps him upright.

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

How is a sincere criminal, trying hard, going to get ahead in his profession if his victim fails to cooperate? Almost all crime depends on the cooperation of the victim. If the victim refuses his assigned role, the criminal is placed at a disadvantage, one so severe that it usually takes an understanding and compassionate judge to set right.

Always store beer in a dark place.

By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous to man; man himself. So he must supply his own indispensable competition. He has no enemy to help him.

Men are more sentimental than women It blurs their thinking.

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

Get a shot off fast... This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect.

There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. But there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know so why fret about it?

If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion.

It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another, but which one? Differences are crucial.

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness. et cetera, ad nauseum, keep her from drowning them at birth.

Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button sorters.

A "pacifist male" is a contradiction in terms. Most self described "pacifists" are not pacific; they simply assume false colors. When the wind changes, they hoist the Jolly Roger.

Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman's breasts; it enhances their charm by making them look lived in and happy.

A generation which ignores history has no past; and no future.

A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.

What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it!

Small change can often be found under seat cushions.

History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.

It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.

If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.

Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate; and quickly,

A motion to adjourn is always in order.

No state has an inherent right to survive through conscript troops and, in the long run, no state ever has. Roman matrons used to say to their sons: "Come back with your shield, or on it." Later on, this custom declined. So did Rome.

Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing, with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for second and third place.

Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

It is better to copulate than never.

All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence. adornment, Iuxury, or folly which can, and must, be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a perfect society on any foundation other than "Women and children first!" is not only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly, and no doubt will keep on trying.

All men are created unequal.

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.

A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate.

There is only one way to console a widow. But remember the risk.

When the need arises, and it does, you must be able to shoot your own dog. Don't farm it out, that doesn't make it nicer, it makes it worse.

Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.

It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

Sex should be friendly- otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it's more sanitary.

Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

Never appeal to a man's "better nature". He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry. N.B.: Circumstances can force your hand. So think ahead!

Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.

An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded, here and there, now and then, are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating. or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty. This is known as "bad luck."

In a mature society, "civil servant" is semantically equal to "civil master".

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

A woman is not property. and husbands who think other wise are living in a dreamworld.

The second best thing about space travel is that the distances involved make war very difficult, usually impractical, and almost always unnecessary. This is probably a loss for most people, since war is our race's most popular diversion, one which gives purpose and color to dull and stupid lives. But it is a great boon to the intelligent man who fights only when he must, never for sport.

A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes, This may be the purpose of the universe.

"No man is an island." Much as we may feel and act as individuals, our race is a single organism, always growing and branching, which must be pruned regularly to be healthy. This necessity need not be argued; anyone with eyes can see that any organism which grows without limit always dies in its own poisons. The only rational question is whether pruning is best done before or after birth. Being an incurable sentimentalist I favor the former of these methods, killing makes me queasy, even when it's a case of "He's dead and I'm alive and that's the way I wanted it to be." But this may be a matter of taste. Some shamans think that it is better to be killed in a war, or to die in childbirth, or to starve in misery, than never to have lived at all They may be right But I don't have to like it, and I don't.

Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one man. How's that again? I missed something.

Autocracy is based on the assumption that one man is wiser than a million men. Let's play that over again, too. Who decides?

Any government will work if authority and responsibility are equal and coordinate This does not insure "good" government; it simply insures that it will work. But such governments are rare, most people want to run things but want no part of the blame. This used to be called the "backseat-driver syndrome."

What are the facts? Again and again and again, what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what "the stars foretell," avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable "verdict of history", what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!

Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can't help being stupid. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.

God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent, it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No cheeks. please. Cash and in small bills.

Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. (He is also a fool.)

The two highest achievements of the human mind are the twin concepts of '-loyalty-- and ' duty." Whenever these twin concepts fall into disrepute, get out of there fast! You may possibly save yourself, but it is too late to save that society. It is doomed.

People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy a half slug who must tighten his belt.

The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa

Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house.

Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship. design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

The more you love, the more you can love, and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.

Masturbation is cheap, clean, convenient, and free of any possibility of wrongdoing, and you don't have to go home in the cold. But it's lonely.

Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

If tempted by something that feels "altruistic," examine your motives and root out that self-deception. Then, if you still want to do it, wallow in it!

The most preposterous notion that H. sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history.

The second most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

$100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000, by which time it will be worth nothing.

Dear, don't bore him with trivia or burden him with your past mistakes. The happiest way to deal with a man is never to tell him anything he doses not need to know.

Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires.

Everybody lies about sex.

If men were the automatons that behaviorists claim they are, the behaviorist psychologists could not have invented the amazing nonsense called "behaviorist psychology." So they are wrong from scratch, as clever and as wrong as phlogiston chemists. The shamans are forever yakking about their snake-oil "miracles." I prefer the Real McCoy, a pregnant woman.

If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I've never heard of it.

Thou shalt remember the Eleventh Commandment and keep it Wholly.

A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an "intellectual", find out how he feels about astrology.

Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.

There is no such thing as "social gambling." Either you are there to cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it, or you're a sucker. If you don't like this choice, don't gamble.

When the ship lifts, all bills are paid. No regrets.

The first time I was a drill instructor I was too inexperienced for the job, the things I taught those lads must have got some of them killed. War is too serious a matter to be taught by the inexperienced.

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

Luck is a term used by the mediocre to describe the accomplishments of a genius

Money is the sincerest of all flattery. Women love to be flattered. So do men.

You live and learn. Or you don't live long.

Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men, they have invariably wound up with the dirty end of the stick. What they are and what they can do makes them superior to men, and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges, all the traffic will bear. They should never settle merely for equality. For women, "equality" is a disaster.

Peace is an extension of war by political means. Plenty of elbow room is pleasanter, and much safer. One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null word.

The phrase "we (I) (you) simply must," designates some thing that need not be done. "That goes without saying" is a red warning. "Of course" means you had best check it your self. These small-change cliches and others like them, when read correctly, are reliable channel markers.

Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Rub her feet.

If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work, never force an idea; you'll abort it, if you do. Be patient and you'll give birth to it when the time is ripe. Learn to wait.

Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs, sex especially. When they are growing up, they are nerve ends all over, and resent (quite properly) any invasion of their privacy. Oh, sure, they'll make mistakes, but that's their business, not yours. (You made your own mistakes, did you not?)

Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.

If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for . . but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong If this is too blind for your taste, consult some well-meaning fool (there is always one around) and ask his advice. Then vote the other way. This enables you to be a good citizen (if such is your wish) without spending the enormous amount of time on it that a truly intelligent exercise of franchise requires.

Sovereign ingredient for a happy marriage: Pay cash or do without. Interest charges not only eat up a household budget; awareness of debt eats up domestic felicity.

Those who refuse to support and defend a state have no claim to protection by that state. Killing an anarchist or a pacifist should not be defined as "murder" in a legalistic sense. The offense against the state, if any, should be "Using deadly weapons inside city limits," or "Creating a traffic hazard," or "Endangering bystanders," or other misdemeanor. However, the state may reasonably place a closed season on these exotic asocial animals whenever they are in danger of becoming extinct. An authentic buck pacifist has rarely been seen off Earth, and it is doubtful that any have survived the trouble there . . regrettable, as they had the biggest mouths and the smallest brains of any of the primates. The small-mouthed variety of anarchist has spread through the Galaxy at the very wave front of the Diaspora; there Is no way to protect them. But they often shoot back.

Another ingredient for a happy marriage: Budget the luxuries first!

And still another, See to it that she has her own desk, then keep your hands off it!

And another, In a family argument, if it turns out you are right, apologize at once!

"God split himself into a myriad parts that he might have friends." This may not be true, but it sounds good, and is no sillier than any other theology.

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

Does history record any case in which the majority was right?

When the fox gnaws smile!

A "critic" is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to judge the work of creative men. There IS logic in this; he is unbiased, he hates all creative people equally.

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you.

Only a sadistic scoundrel, or a fool, tells the bald truth on social occasions.

This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother's side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds to happiness in a world in which happiness is always in short supply. In handling a stinging insect, move very slowly.

To be "matter of fact" about the world is to blunder into fantasy, and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning, while those other subjects merely require scholarship.

Copulation is spiritual in essence, or it is merely friendly exercise. On second thought, strike out "merely". Copulation is not "merely", even when it is just a happy pastime for two strangers. But copulation at its spiritual best is so much more than physical coupling that it is different in kind as well as in degree. The saddest feature of homosexuality is not that it is "wrong" or "sinful" or even that it can't lead to progeny, but that it is more difficult to reach through it this spiritual union. Not impossible, but the cards are stacked against it. But, most sorrowfully, many people never achieve spiritual sharing even with the help of male-female advantage; they are condemned to wander through life alone.

Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long before he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money, but long on hugs. Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Be wary of strong drink It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.

The profession of shaman has many advantages, It offers high status with a safe livelihood free of work in the dreary, sweaty sense. In most societies it offers legal privileges and Immunities not granted to other men. But it is hard to see how a man who has been given a mandate from On High to spread tidings of joy to all mankind can be seriously interested in taking up a collection to pay his salary; it causes one lo suspect that the shaman is on the moral level of any other con man. But it's lovely work if you can stomach it.

A whore should be judged by the same criteria as other professionals offering services for pay, such as dentists, lawyers, hairdressers, physicians, plumbers, etc. Is she professionally competent? Does she give good measure? Is she honest with her clients? It is possible that the percentage of honest and competent whores is higher than that of plumbers and much higher than that of lawyers. And enormously higher than that of professors.

Minimize your therbligs until it becomes automatic. This doubles your effective lifetime, and thereby gives time to enjoy butterflies and kittens and rainbows

Have you noticed how much they Iook like orchids? Lovely!

Expertise in one field does not carry over into other fields. But experts often think so. The narrower their field of knowledge the more likely they are to think so.

Never try to outstubborn a cat .

Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.

Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.

Waking a person unnecessarily should not be considered a capital crime. For a first offense, that is.

"Go to hell!" or other insult direct is all the answer a snoopy question rates.

The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course it is none of my business but," is to place a period after the word "but." Don't use excessive force in supplying such moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.

A man does not insist on physical beauty in a woman who builds up his morale. After a while he realizes that she is beautiful, he just hadn't noticed it at first.

A skunk is better company than a person who prides him self on being "frank."

"All's fair in love and war," what a contemptible lie!

Beware of the "Black Swan" fallacy. Deductive logic is tautological; there is no way to get a new truth out of it, and it manipulates false statements as readily as true ones. If you fail to remember this, it can trip you with perfect logic. The designers of the earliest computers called this the "Gigo Law," i.e., "Garbage in, garbage out."

Inductive logic is much more difficult, but can produce new truths.

A "practical joker" deserves applause for his wit according to its quality. Bastinado is about right. For exceptional wit one might grant keelhauling. But staking him out on an anthill should be reserved for the very wittiest.

Natural laws have no pity.

On the planet Tranquille around KM849 (G-0) lives a little animal known as a "knafn." It is herbivorous and has no natural enemies and is easily approached and may be petted, sort of a six-legged puppy with scales. Stroking it is very pleasant; it wiggles its pleasure and broadcasts euphoria in some band that humans can detect. It's worth the trip. Someday some bright boy will figure out how to record this broadcast, then some smart boy will see commercial angles, and not long after that it will be regulated and taxed. In the meantime I have faked that name and catalog number; it is several thousand light-years off in another direction. Selfish of me!

Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.

Take care of the cajones and the frijoles will take care of themselves. Try to have getaway money, but don't be fanatic about it.

If "everybody knows" such-and-such, then it ain't so, by at least ten thousand to one. All cats are not gray after midnight, endless variety.

Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful , just stupid.)

Being generous is inborn; being altruistic is a learned perversity. No resemblance.

It is impossible for a man to love his wife wholeheartedly without loving all women somewhat. I suppose that the converse must be true of women.

You can go wrong by being too skeptical as readily as by being too trusting.

Formal courtesy between husband and wife is even more important than it is between strangers.

Anything free: is worth what you pay for it.

Don't store garlic near other victuals.

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

Pessimist by policy, optimist by temperament, it is possible to be both. How? By never taking an unnecessary chance and by minimizing risks you can't avoid This permits you to play out the game happily, untroubled by the certainty of the out come.

Do not confuse "duty" with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient Work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect. But, there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants "just a few minutes of your time, please, this won't take long." Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will take up 100 percent of your time and squawk for more! So learn to say No, and to be rude about it when necessary. Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you. (This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don't do it because it is "expected" of you.)

"I came, I saw. she conquered.'' (The original Latin seems to have been garbled.)

A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.

Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a pen. Homo sapiens is the only animal that voluntarily does this to himself.

Don't try to have the last word. You might get it.

I shot an error into the air. It's still going everywhere.

The price of freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle, anywhere, any time, and with utter recklessness.

If you demand censorship of firearms, you must accept censorship of the Internet. (Don't stop reading at the end of the 1st Amendment!) - Richard L. Hartman

Fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity . - Sigmund Freud

Quemadmoeum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est." (A sword is never a killer, it's a tool in the killer's hands.) - Lucius Annaeus Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)

Laws that forbid the carrying of arms...disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes. Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed one. - Thomas Jefferson quoting Cesare Beccaria, Criminologist 1764.

A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be the constant companion of your walks. - Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to his nephew

The constitutions of most of our States assert, that all power is inherent in the people;that they may exercise it by themselves, in all cases to which they think themselves competent, ... or they may act by representatives, freely and equally chosen; that it is their right and duty to be at all times armed; that they are entitled to freedom of person, freedom of religion, freedom of property, and freedom of the press. - The Living Thoughts of Thomas Jefferson, pp.46 - 47, Presented by John Dewey

Gun control laws increase the power of government and the criminal element over the average citizen and serve no other purpose. - Robert E. Lee

A goverment that fears arms in the hands of it people should also fear ROPE! - Nathan Bedford Forrest about 1845

...I am opposed to all attempts to license or restrict the arming of individuals...I consider such laws a violation of civil liberty, subversive of democratic political institutions, and self-defeating in their purpose. - Robert Heinlein, in a 1949 letter concerning "Red Planet"

I don't know about you, but if you hear that Williams' guns have been taken, you will know that Williams is dead. - Walter Williams, syndicated columnist

Ain't much can't be cured with a lot of lead flyin' through the air. - SEAL Team Six saying

It is hard to oppress a population equipped to hunt animals the size of a man. -- L. Neil Smith, Pallas (New York: Tor, 1993), p. 380

Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power. - Yoshimi Ishikawa, Japanese author commenting on the lack of protest with which Japanese tolerated governmental corruption, Los Angeles Times, 10/15/92

The most important freedom of all is the freedom to defend freedom.- Kevin McGehee

Gun control, the opiate of the intellectuals: covert elitism laced with self-righteousness.

Thou shalt not disparage another gun rights advocate in public. - Da Blue Wolf

Just one final statement. I've been sitting here getting more and more fed up with all of this talk about these, pieces of machinery, having no legitimate sporting purpose, no legitimate hunting purpose, people, that is not the point of the second amendment! The second amendment is not about duck hunting, and I know I'm not going to make very many friends saying this, but it's about our right, all of our right to be able to protect our selves from all of you guys up there. And nobody's talked about that. Senator Moynahan, I think this is today's paper, Monday, listen to this, a quote from Senator Moynahan, "I think that the United Nations has proven itself a failed instrument in Bosnia. It won't allow the Bosnians to defend themselves and it hasn't defended the Bosnians. I think that we should arm the Bosnians". End quote. I think that Schindlers list should be required viewing for everybody in this room. Thank you. - Dr. Suzanna Gratia, Killeen massacre survivor who watched as her parents were murdered because she obeyed Texas law and left her handgun locked in her car. Appearing before Rep Schumer's committee hearings on the assault weapons ban

Using cross-sectional time-series data for U.S. counties from 1977 to 1992, we find that allowing citizens to carry concealed weapons deters violent crimes and it appears to produce no increase in accidental deaths. If those states which did not have right-to-carry concealed gun provisions had adopted them in 1992, approximately 1,570 murders; 4,177 rapes; and over 60,000 aggravated assaults would have been avoided yearly. - Crime, Deterrence, and Right-to-Carry Concealed Handguns John R. Lott, Jr., School of Law Univ. of Chicago

"We're going to have to take one step at a time, and the first step is necessarily -- given the political realities -- going to be very modest ... So then we'll have to start working again to strengthen the law, and then again to strengthen the next law, and maybe again and again. Right now, though, we'd be satisfied not with half a loaf but with a slice. Our ultimate goal -- total control of handguns in the United States -- is going to take time .... The first problem is to slow down the increasing number of guns being produced and sold in this country. The second problem is to get handguns registered. And the final problem is to make the possession of *all* handguns and *all* handgun ammunition -- except for the military, policemen, licensed security guards, licensed sporting clubs, and licensed gun collectors -- totally illegal." -- Pete Shields, Chairman Emeritus, Handgun Control, Inc. ( "The New Yorker", July 26, 1976 )

When you are interested in something you do it only when it is convenient.  When you are committed, you accept only results, not excuses.  Ken Blanchard

Every human being must have a point where he stands and says, " This is me - and the rest of the damned world can go to hell."- Fedor Dostoevski

If Pro is the opposite of Con then Congress must be the opposite of Progress.

For every honest, inoffensive, harmless citizen, there is a bureaucrat waiting to goof him up. - Mike Royko

It doesn't matter who you vote for, you're still going to wind up with a Politician. - Will Rogers

Of the best rulers the people only know that they exist; the next best they love and praise; The next they fear; And the next they revile. - Lao-tse, from the TAO TE CHING

My enemy's enemy is my friend. - Sun Tzu

The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus, Roman Senator and historian (a.d. 56-115)

Qui Desidererat Pacem Praeparet Bellum. (He who desires peace prepares for war.) - Vegetius

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin, reply of the Pennsylvania Assembly to the governor, 11/11/1755

In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man and brave, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds however,the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot. - Mark Twain

If all Americans want is security, they can go to prison. They'll have enough to eat, a bed and a roof over their heads. But if an American wants to preserve his dignity and his equality as a human being, he must not bow his neck to any dictatorial government. - Dwight D. Eisenhower , Dec.9, 1949

I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue. - Barry Goldwater, Republican presidential candidate, 16 July 1964

Any government that is big enough to give to us everything we want, is big enough to take from us everything we have! - President Gerald R. Ford, speaking to the Republican National Convention in San Diego, CA on Aug. 12, 1996

Americans used to roar for Liberty, now they bleat for Security. - Dr. Norman Vincent Peale.

The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress! - Frederick Douglas, Canaandiagua, New York, August 3, 1857

Life is always hopelessly complex to those who have no principles. - Joseph Sobran

The most dangerous kind of ignorance is the ignorance of the educated. - Thomas Sowell 

It's too bad ignorance isn't painful. - J. Bradford "Brad" Alpert

The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; and may posterity forget that ye were once our countrymen. - Samuel Adams

You exceed your rights when you urge that laws be made in the shape of your conscience to block the pleasures permitted by mine. When you people prevail, you commit a crime against freedom, and that is the greatest immorality I know. -Vance Bourjaily, Country Matters

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. - H. L. Mencken

[E]lections amount to no more than choosing between the scum that floats to the top of the barrel and the dregs that settle to the bottom. - L. Neil Smith

Giving power and money to Congress is like giving liquor and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I think Clinton will prove to be one of the great fascists of our time. - Gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson

If you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed, if you will not fight when your victory can be sure and not too costly, you may come to a moment when you have to fight with all the odds against you, and only a precarious chance to survive. There may even be a worse case - You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, and it will be better to perish than to live in slavery. - Winston Churchill, 1937.

A policeman's job is only easy in a police state. - Orson Welles

The best defense is a strong offense, and I intend to start offending right now. - Capt. James T. Kirk

An honest politician is one who stays bought.

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room.

Integrity is what the anchor's hair has after a half hour in makeup.

Schmutz's Law: "The tendency of equipment to break down increases to the cube of the desire of the operator to use it."

If this is where society is going, God help us, but I for one plan on going there armed. - Chuck Scanland

As my teenage daughter says, sometimes "reality bites", even though one would prefer it not to do so. - Christopher C. Ferris

A politician who wants to take your guns is figuring on taking everything you've got. -- The Blue Howling Bard of Bumduck on the Bayou

"Let his days be few, and let another take his office." Psalms 109:8 The "Klinton verse"

The only important difference between Nazi-ism, Fascism, Communism, Socialism and (Neo-)Liberalism is the spelling, and that the last group hasn't got the brains to figure it out. - Bill Vance

How many gun control advocates does it take to change a lightbulb? ----- None, they just pass a law against burned out bulbs and then walk away wondering how come its still dark.

The Mormon version of gun control is using both hands.

"Hello," lied the politician.

Stealing is illegal: The government hates competition.

As the Eskimo's say, "The lead dog is the only one that gets a change of scenery."

!yaw gnorw eht su gnikat si noitartsinimdA notnilC ehT

Friends will help you move. Real friends will help you move bodies.

NOTICE: Flaming email received will be posted to the appropriate newsgroups

Obscenity Is Anything That Gives A Judge An Erection

If this country is so damned free, why are there so many things I can't do without breaking some idiotic law?

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

America is at that awkward stage. It is too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards. - Claire Wolfe

Supporter of the RTKBA -- the Right to Keep and Bear ANYTHING.

If guns cause crime, then why do we arm the police?

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Alice Walker??

I haven't joined the enemy. I've just gotten close enough to guarantee I won't miss.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. - Elbert Hubbard

       ------------------------------------------------------

                                 \\|//
                                  (O-O)
   +__________________________oOO__(_)__OOo_______________________________+

   |-------- For reply, send a self-abused stomped elephant to -----------|
   | L.C. "Tuck" Landry   (Sugar Hollow Curmudgeon)    tuck@cstone.net    |
   |                                                                      |           |
   |                   flames:  900-767-1111                              |
   |                                                                      |  
   |+--------------- DISCLAIMER ---------|-----OBLIGATORY-- PROVERB-------|
   | Void where prohibited. Store in a   | Does the Little Mermaid wear   |
   | cool, dry place. See side panel for |  an algebra?                   |
   | additional precautions. ORM-D.      |                                |
   +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
   |                                                                      |          |
   |--- The author is insane.  Any opinions are those of Great Cthulhu.---|
   |____________________________________Oooo._____________________________|
                                .oooO   (   )
                                (   )    ) /
                                 \ (    (_/
                                  \_)

       ------------------------------------------------------

      .---.        .------------------ *   
     /     \  __  /    ------------- /       
    / /     \(..)/    ------------ /        
   //////   ' \/ `   ----------- /              tuck@cstone.net 
  //// / // :    : ----------- /                    
 \\/ / * / /`    '---------/                       
  \*/      * //..\\
       =-=-UU----UU-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
           '//\\`  ILLIGITIMATI NON CARBORUNDUM
       =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

       ------------------------------------------------------

"Catapultam habeo.                (I have a catapult. Unless you)

Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis,   (give me all the money, I will)

ad caput tuum saxum immane        (throw an enormous rock at your head)

 mittam."

       ------------------------------------------------------

   How dare you post that trash!

               ^
              /                  *_SNAP!!!_*
             /~ 
            #       &&
             B,  &\\\,.         I "Violated" the Internet
              \\(&~++`          Censorship Act today.....
              `\\`=-~
                (*X*)\
                 ).( /'
                ( v)
                 \ \
                // \)
               //             "Finger"
               P\_ P\_          Vicked.Vilhelmina@Teutonic.org   :-)

       ------------------------------------------------------

                    /===============================\
                    !         Four boxes:           !
                    !   Soap, ballot, jury, ammo.   !
                    !      Use in that order.       !
                    \===============================/

       ------------------------------------------------------

   __&__      
  /     \  
          
   (o)(o)          I am Homer of the Borg.  Resistance is useless. 
 C   .---_)         Preparation is futile.  Prepare to be assim.........
   .___          ...mmmmmmm...donut!!!
    \__/    
  /_____\           
 /_____/ \          
/         \

       ------------------------------------------------------

                        \\|//
                        (O-O)
          __________oOO__(_)__OOo_________
         |                               |
         | If it's tourist season        |
         | why can't we shoot them?      |
         |                               |
         |___________________Oooo._______|
                    .oooO   (   )
                    (   )    ) /
                     \ (    (_/
                      \_)

       ------------------------------------------------------

    Just keep going, and going, and going.....
     
                     \\
                      @ _
                     /%(_)
                 ``*&&&D

       ------------------------------------------------------

        In the words of Bill Clinton, or was it Bart (or OJ) Simpson:
       "I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything".

       ------------------------------------------------------

  
     \\\|||///
   .  =======
  / \| O   O |
  \ / \`___'/  ---- Get a life, you hoser !!!!
   #   _| |_
  (#) (     )
   #\//|* *|\\
   #\/(  *  )/
   #   =====
   #   ( U )
   #   || ||
  .#---'| |`----.
  `#----' `-----'

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                         ./ /  /  |  \  \ \.
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                                \ | /(__)
                                 \|/ (oo)
                              /---++--\/
                             / |  || ||
                            *  ||-++-||
                               ^^    ^^

              Consider yourselves hit by a parachuting cow!

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